It has been 2 months since I posted a WLW… I wish I could say that I had hit my goals and have lost so much weight and that everything is going great… but I’d be lying.
I’m back where I started. 240 when I stepped on the scale this morning. I do this to myself every time… I start to make progress, and then I self-sabotage. The negative internal dialogue starts up, I start binge eating (at times secretly), my mood and energy levels take a complete dive, and the hole just seems to get deeper and darker every time. I’ve been putting off writing this post because I wanted so badly for it to be a positive one, but it’s been too long – I just needed to be real.
For now I have dug myself out of that hole, and I am going to try and stay out of it for as long as I can this time… I’ve started trying to meditate for 10 minutes in the morning, and 10 minutes before going to sleep to help with my mental health. I have downloaded a few apps to help as well – Relax Melodies has customizable white noise which helps me block out the non-stop chatter in my head while I am trying to meditate, and Pause is a mindfulness app where you slowly and continuously move your fingertip across the screen and I find that when things start to get overwhelming, I take a minute to breathe deeply and *pause*, and it helps me focus.
I have started Cize – the new Shaun T workout from Beachbody, and I am really enjoying it. I need exercising to be fun, and it doesn’t get much better than learning a dance routine. I’ve taken new before pictures, and hope to have some positive changes by the end of the year. I’d like 2016 to be my healthiest yet… but in order for that to happen, changes need to be made today.
Next week will be more positive, I promise – to you, and to myself.