i am… burnt out

Untitled-2Maybe you’ve noticed it’s been a bit quiet around here lately, or maybe you haven’t – that’s okay too. I’ve been debating writing this post for a while in the hopes that getting it out would help me get past it, and maybe it will help others knowing they aren’t alone, but by the time the day is over the thought of opening my laptop and doing anything at all is unthinkable. I don’t know if it’s depression, or if it’s just that I’m overwhelmed – maybe it’s a bit of both. Every day is so scheduled to the minute and I feel like there’s never any time. I posted shortly after returning to work last year about how the clock is always ticking… and what a regular day looked like… 8 months later work is busier, Cordelia is sleeping a bit better, and we’ve added in some extra curriculars to keep the little guy busy.

Thankfully Cordelia isn’t waking up 3-4x a night anymore, but she does go through stages where she’s waking up once – or up at 4 and won’t go back to sleep. Sometimes we are lucky enough to sleep until 5:30, those are nice days. After working all day, running Bobby to Kindergarten and Taekwondo… we come home, make dinner, help with homework, read books, play for a while and it’s time for bath and bed. Then a lot of nights I spend some time working from home to stay on top of my deadlines. Once it’s time to relax, I look around at the house that is in complete disarray… feel guilty about the fact that I didn’t remember to get Bobby to do his Taekwondo practice, or get out for a bike ride… know that we’ll spend the weekend cleaning and organizing and doing laundry, and that none of it matters because by this time next week, it’ll be the exact same.

I haven’t been exercising, at all… all the progress I made a year ago is pretty much gone. I haven’t been eating well (no breakfast or lunch, and then binge eating in the evening) or sleeping well (probably due to the binge eating). And I am sure all of this is feeding in to my current emotional state. I’m going to start a new series next week – Weight Loss Wednesdays – that will help me to hold myself accountable, and hopefully get myself on track and working towards my goals… because I have a long way to go and as I said earlier… the clock is always ticking.

Kindergarten is over in 2 months, and then I think things will start to settle down mentally for me, though I’m sure it will pick back up in September when he starts grade one.

Thank you for taking the time to read through my emotional brain dump. I’ve said this a few times but I will be trying hard to find time this weekend to start working on some lighter content for next week, I’ve put it on my to do list at least, hopefully getting back in to it will bring back my blogging spark. ♥

How do you handle mental and emotional burnouts? I could use any tips you have!

17 thoughts on “i am… burnt out

  1. Sounds like you’re being run ragged! I hope you can find some time for yourself – not necessarily for the blog, but just yourself. Sounds like you really need it. Hope things get better for you soon!

  2. You sound like you have a lot on your plate right now! Whenever I feel burnt out, I just take a day to myself to just relax and not worry about so much. I stay away from the computer and try to do a fun activity with my kids rather then rush around trying to get so much done. Just that one down day always seems to help me.

    1. That’s a great idea. May long weekend is coming up and I think we are going to unplug completely… hopefully the weather is nice and we can just hang out in the backyard. Thanks Joanna.

  3. This is the story of my life. It’s so easy to go go go and then crash and burn. For me I know that talking to someone has really helped me deal with this. Hoping for and your family get some peace and relaxation soon!

  4. This happens to me all the time. I have a four year old, three year old (turns 3 next month) and a three month old. All boys. I work from home part time- which is insane. So I am constantly on the go but don’t feel like I can give one hundred percent to both because they are mixed. It’s hard at times- just with being a mother. We always have so much going on but I just remember that I love my babies, I love being a mom. I love my job, our house and all the blessings in our lives and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Sometimes I just take a moment to breath and reflect. It helps taking time for yourself, whether its just you time or time with your girlfriends.

  5. I can’t even imagine what the stress is like to have kids on top of everything.

    I’m sad that you’re so hard on yourself. I’ve always thought your photography is excellent and your subject material (either yourself or products) always looks so darn beautiful.

    I find you immensely enjoyable, and I hope you are able to de-stress and “find yourself” (so to speak). Breaks are always helpful! And I’m looking forward to weight loss Wednesdays. I’ve been absolute crap since Christmas and it’s wearing thin. 😐

    /many hugs & mental well wishes

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Chelle. I really appreciate it ♥ I think I just tend to spiral; and when I struggle to find time for self care… my self image drops and everything else with it. I know last year when I applied myself and started losing weight I felt fantastic, there’s no reason why I can’t do it again and make it stick! I’d love to be able to run marathons like you do! xx

    1. I keep trying to tell myself that 10 years from now we will miss when they were little… hard to imagine that though some days! I hope you find some peace and relaxation Claire!

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